After dating death

24-Dec-2016 13:37

” misses the point: it’s all infatuation in the beginning, infatuation (or immature love) is the stage everyone passes through on the way to mature love.Erich Fromm in makes the distinction between the two, pointing out that infatuation is about the person doing the loving, the lover, but true love is about the person who is loved, the object.The revelation that he’s her destined enemy would be enough to kill infatuation.But something has happened before the reveal: Buffy has moved past immature love to a recognition of who Angel is besides the hottie who loves her. The question “Is this real love or just infatuation?insanity that makes love such a pain in the neck, whether somebody’s biting you there or not.The reasons for this are many and varied, and all the more telling when the people at Mutant Enemy get it wrong. Buffy has had three loves in her seven-year fight against the Hellmouth, and three of these relationships followed the basic psychological progress–assumption, attraction, infatuation, and attachment–which is why they all felt true emotionally, even if some viewers were less than pleased with Buffy’s choices. These are all clues that the object is genetically a catch, physically and mentally healthy; it’s DNA shrieking “Pick that one, I want to live forever!(There’s a reason there are so many love stories in Sunnydale; it’s Pain Central.) The more of these cues that are present, the faster the relationship will move into the giddiness of immature love.And both joy and pain cues are all over the place in the Buffy-and-Angel story, climaxing in their first kiss, a physical thrill so great it provokes his vampire side, the part of his story he’d forgotten to mention (Greenwalt, “Angel”).

Their final act of love is their great sacrifice at the end of the third season.

And yet they still love each other, much to their mutual disgust and despair. But she kills him as a sacrifice to save the world, not as an execution to punish and reject him, something that Whedon makes clear by transforming Angelus into Angel before she strikes (Whedon, “Becoming Part II).

Angelus is riddled with love for her, and because of that he is driven to destroy her; as he tells Spike in “Innocence”, “To kill this girl . When he comes back from hell, tortured for a century until he is only slightly above a beast, he still loves her and saves her instinctively, just as she loves and protects him even though his mind is gone (Noxon, “Beauty and the Beasts”).

Friends and family play a huge role here, along with physical and emotional connections.

Buffy’s peer group sees Angel as attractive (even Xander’s jealousy is backhanded approval since he rates Angel a threat), her mother less so, perversely making him even more desirable because he’s outside the bounds of parental control.

Their final act of love is their great sacrifice at the end of the third season.

And yet they still love each other, much to their mutual disgust and despair. But she kills him as a sacrifice to save the world, not as an execution to punish and reject him, something that Whedon makes clear by transforming Angelus into Angel before she strikes (Whedon, “Becoming Part II).

Angelus is riddled with love for her, and because of that he is driven to destroy her; as he tells Spike in “Innocence”, “To kill this girl . When he comes back from hell, tortured for a century until he is only slightly above a beast, he still loves her and saves her instinctively, just as she loves and protects him even though his mind is gone (Noxon, “Beauty and the Beasts”).

Friends and family play a huge role here, along with physical and emotional connections.

Buffy’s peer group sees Angel as attractive (even Xander’s jealousy is backhanded approval since he rates Angel a threat), her mother less so, perversely making him even more desirable because he’s outside the bounds of parental control.

The first move in establishing a relationship is assumption, gauging, consciously or unconsciously, if this person is somebody desirable, somebody it is possible to love. ” Since Sunnydale is populated almost entirely by beautiful, verbal teenagers, this is not a difficult stage for the Scooby Gang, their angst notwithstanding.